For 54 years there were no words to describe my family. Our bond, joy, love of life and collective sense of humor could not be expressed in words. My nieces and nephews are more like siblings than cousins, and my sister and our brothers were more like best friends that shared the pride of being a Slocumb raised by Christian parents who placed family before everything. Since July of 2006, the words come much easier. We are broken, devastated, lonely, depressed and at times completely empty. I have 4 brothers, 3 sisters in law, a brother in law and 13 nieces and nephews. Our lives have been irrevocably changed. Never in my life have I seen such raw and complete hurt as when I watched each of my brothers come up Jenny's long driveway one at a time after searching for her through the night and embrace my mother. It was one the most horrific things I will ever witness. They came about 5 minutes apart, and the reaction and the scene was identical every time. When one of us is hurt we all hurt - that is just how my family is built. Of course we will keep going, Jenny would have demanded it, but every day is a challenge now. To understand my own loss, it is important to know that Jenny was 15 years old when I was born. She named me, and she took me over. She nurtured me and cared for me just like my mother did. She made me happy when I was sad, and when I got out of line she helped to straighten me out. Our bond was strong. Sometimes I rebelled, but when she left home I cried for weeks. Ultimately, she came home a lot and I always recognized how special the time was when she was at home. Sunday lunches, holidays, birthdays -the family only felt truly complete when she was here to share in the fun and laughter of just being together. We will never have that completeness again. When my father died, Jenny saved me. She spent time in Macon, then when she finally had to leave she called me every day, sometimes more than once. Together we got each other through that terrible time, and a bond I had always felt was incredibly strong became ironclad. Jenny was intelligent, beautiful, talented in art, music and language. She painted incredible pictures and portraits. She taught herself the violin and the hammered dulcimer. She could tear up a piano. She taught herself to knit and was fluent in several languages. And her sense of humor was unmatched. She was in no way ordinary. She lived everyday of her life for Jesus Christ and her family. She was our prayer warrior and our rock. She could have done anything in her life, but she thankfully chose to devote her life to all of us and anyone who she came into contact with that she could help. I have lost my sister, my friend, my second mother, and my family's peace all because of the evil choice one man made. My brother Buster, summed up one of the many ways we will miss her. He noted that her future grandchildren will not know the incredible grandmother that was stolen from them, but we will know that and recognize that loss for the rest of our lives. It is not just that we only hurt individually - we hurt as a whole and we hurt for each other, and this grief will continue. We miss her every day, and we always will.
Friday, May 22, 2009
The trial is over. Ledford received the death penalty. Several people commented throughout the trial that the death penalty would not bring Jenny back. I think that is kind of the point. NOTHING will bring her back to us. We are pleased with the outcome - I just hope my mother lives long enough to see him die. I can't wait until we get close enough to count the days until they put him down. We are all so thankful to the Paulding County District Attorney's Office and sheriff's department. I also really appreciate the brave women who testified against this animal, especially the rape victim that had him put in jail in 1991. She is one of the strongest people I will ever meet. I'm too tired to write more now, but I may revisit this blog later. The following is my Victim Impact Statement - I wrote it over two years ago, then I tried to update it but it kept coming out the same so this is it:
For 54 years there were no words to describe my family. Our bond, joy, love of life and collective sense of humor could not be expressed in words. My nieces and nephews are more like siblings than cousins, and my sister and our brothers were more like best friends that shared the pride of being a Slocumb raised by Christian parents who placed family before everything. Since July of 2006, the words come much easier. We are broken, devastated, lonely, depressed and at times completely empty. I have 4 brothers, 3 sisters in law, a brother in law and 13 nieces and nephews. Our lives have been irrevocably changed. Never in my life have I seen such raw and complete hurt as when I watched each of my brothers come up Jenny's long driveway one at a time after searching for her through the night and embrace my mother. It was one the most horrific things I will ever witness. They came about 5 minutes apart, and the reaction and the scene was identical every time. When one of us is hurt we all hurt - that is just how my family is built. Of course we will keep going, Jenny would have demanded it, but every day is a challenge now. To understand my own loss, it is important to know that Jenny was 15 years old when I was born. She named me, and she took me over. She nurtured me and cared for me just like my mother did. She made me happy when I was sad, and when I got out of line she helped to straighten me out. Our bond was strong. Sometimes I rebelled, but when she left home I cried for weeks. Ultimately, she came home a lot and I always recognized how special the time was when she was at home. Sunday lunches, holidays, birthdays -the family only felt truly complete when she was here to share in the fun and laughter of just being together. We will never have that completeness again. When my father died, Jenny saved me. She spent time in Macon, then when she finally had to leave she called me every day, sometimes more than once. Together we got each other through that terrible time, and a bond I had always felt was incredibly strong became ironclad. Jenny was intelligent, beautiful, talented in art, music and language. She painted incredible pictures and portraits. She taught herself the violin and the hammered dulcimer. She could tear up a piano. She taught herself to knit and was fluent in several languages. And her sense of humor was unmatched. She was in no way ordinary. She lived everyday of her life for Jesus Christ and her family. She was our prayer warrior and our rock. She could have done anything in her life, but she thankfully chose to devote her life to all of us and anyone who she came into contact with that she could help. I have lost my sister, my friend, my second mother, and my family's peace all because of the evil choice one man made. My brother Buster, summed up one of the many ways we will miss her. He noted that her future grandchildren will not know the incredible grandmother that was stolen from them, but we will know that and recognize that loss for the rest of our lives. It is not just that we only hurt individually - we hurt as a whole and we hurt for each other, and this grief will continue. We miss her every day, and we always will.
For 54 years there were no words to describe my family. Our bond, joy, love of life and collective sense of humor could not be expressed in words. My nieces and nephews are more like siblings than cousins, and my sister and our brothers were more like best friends that shared the pride of being a Slocumb raised by Christian parents who placed family before everything. Since July of 2006, the words come much easier. We are broken, devastated, lonely, depressed and at times completely empty. I have 4 brothers, 3 sisters in law, a brother in law and 13 nieces and nephews. Our lives have been irrevocably changed. Never in my life have I seen such raw and complete hurt as when I watched each of my brothers come up Jenny's long driveway one at a time after searching for her through the night and embrace my mother. It was one the most horrific things I will ever witness. They came about 5 minutes apart, and the reaction and the scene was identical every time. When one of us is hurt we all hurt - that is just how my family is built. Of course we will keep going, Jenny would have demanded it, but every day is a challenge now. To understand my own loss, it is important to know that Jenny was 15 years old when I was born. She named me, and she took me over. She nurtured me and cared for me just like my mother did. She made me happy when I was sad, and when I got out of line she helped to straighten me out. Our bond was strong. Sometimes I rebelled, but when she left home I cried for weeks. Ultimately, she came home a lot and I always recognized how special the time was when she was at home. Sunday lunches, holidays, birthdays -the family only felt truly complete when she was here to share in the fun and laughter of just being together. We will never have that completeness again. When my father died, Jenny saved me. She spent time in Macon, then when she finally had to leave she called me every day, sometimes more than once. Together we got each other through that terrible time, and a bond I had always felt was incredibly strong became ironclad. Jenny was intelligent, beautiful, talented in art, music and language. She painted incredible pictures and portraits. She taught herself the violin and the hammered dulcimer. She could tear up a piano. She taught herself to knit and was fluent in several languages. And her sense of humor was unmatched. She was in no way ordinary. She lived everyday of her life for Jesus Christ and her family. She was our prayer warrior and our rock. She could have done anything in her life, but she thankfully chose to devote her life to all of us and anyone who she came into contact with that she could help. I have lost my sister, my friend, my second mother, and my family's peace all because of the evil choice one man made. My brother Buster, summed up one of the many ways we will miss her. He noted that her future grandchildren will not know the incredible grandmother that was stolen from them, but we will know that and recognize that loss for the rest of our lives. It is not just that we only hurt individually - we hurt as a whole and we hurt for each other, and this grief will continue. We miss her every day, and we always will.
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Thanks, Paige, for posting your impact statement. I imagined this is how you all feel, but to read it made it all the more real. I am searching for a way to be helpful here and thinking that there will be new addtitional Jenny's yet to be born, to the neices and nephews. You will one day meet her again through that- look for it- plus you will also see her with your Dad in heaven- maybe even at a fair with cotton candy! She had a huge effect on the world- in a spiritual way,and a physical way- I think she will be present forever through family traditions and future generations. She taught the rock solid stuff- not likely to fade. She lives strong through her children. This has to be your satisfaction- it is all you might get in this life. I hope it helps to focus on that. I like to think she has just changed forms- while in heaven, of course, but also something we may not ordinarily think of, that she is still here in many ways- and will be for a long time to come.
ReplyDeleteREading that seems lame. But we have so little to go on in this world and situation. Faith is tested hard on this one. Jenny won't let me get down on faith. She shared my faith about Crawford. She taught me too.
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